leaving on a jet plane

I just can't carry this crap around with me anymore. When I began that living hell otherwise known as boot camp (US Coast Guard--2nd hardest after the Marines), they issued us huge green duffle bags. For two grueling weeks we carried all of our worldly belongings, ninja turtle style, on our backs. The first time I tried to lift that sucker, nothing happened. It was probably 80% of my body weight and damn near as tall as me. I had to sit on the floor, wiggle my arms through the shoulder straps, and pull my self up --hand over hand-- using our bunk beds. 8 weeks later and I was throwing that bag around like it was nothing.

I guess you can get used to anything. For the past 8 years, I've been accumulating some serious baggage. I've just packed it up and kept on marching. Well, I'm done. I'm taking leave because this sucks and not in a good way.

I'm going on vacation and I'd love to get there with just my carry-on. Really. You, there, the shifty eyed fellow with the vicious halitosis--please, rifle through this luggage and take whatever you want. Fear, guilt, stress...take the whole damn lot.