Present: Back To The Grind

When he was a baby, my primary job description didn't seem to be "Fun Mommy type who plays with me and takes me to the park and tickles my toes and makes me laugh". It was more like, "Air Traffic Controller who makes sure all my appointments are logged and successfully executed. Also ensures no appointments try to land on the same calendar slot simultaneously."

If you look at those calendars, the weeks are jam packed with doctor's appointments, physical therapy sessions, occupational therapy sessions, speech therapy sessions, sessions of sessions...Ugh...his dance card was seriously full.

It was a more than full time job just keeping track off all the activity and making sure everyone was on the same page. And then there were the insurance wars. I am sick to my stomach just remembering.

We had 4 or 5 months this year when it seemed like life was easing up a bit. I actually thought he was going to get his first real summer. Full of sandy swimsuits, starry campouts and maybe even robot day camp. Instead he spiraled down on most fronts and now the band seems to be playing his song on a continuous loop because his card, it keeps getting more full every day.

I am burnt on the medically fragile lifestyle. He's such a cool kid. I hate that he has to go through this crap.

This doesn't get packed away into anything. I can't pry it from my fist.